I Need You Before I Say I Do!

 

 

Many of you have already pictured that perfect wedding day when all your family and friends have come together to celebrate your covenant with God and the 1 in holy matrimony.

 

While some of you may not want a big wedding or a lot of attention brought on your wedding day, you still have the desire to marry the 1 God has for you.

 

However, before you say I do, you must meet the 1, fall in love with the 1 and then marry the 1.

 

Each phase has a process all of its own. Some of you have met someone, but they were not the 1.

 

Some of you have met someone you thought was the 1, fell in love with them, but the marriage did not occur because they weren’t the 1.

 

Sure, people have married the wrong 1.

 

That’s another reason why you gather around this blog weekly to add more tools onto your belt to try to avoid that as much as possible.

 

Meeting the 1 is the 1^st step, and it’s the step that seems to take the longest. You realize that you need to meet them before you say “I do!”

 

So, even though that process may seem to be taking a little longer than planned, we remain confident that the 1 will show up.

 

That’s why you are Single For 1!

 

In knowing that the 1 will show up in due time, that’s not what you have to focus on. When you meet them and get to know them, you will fall in love.

 

That’s not the hard part either. Love is a choice, and it can certainly grow stronger in you over time towards the 1.

 

All of that is fine and good, but love alone will not be enough to get married or stay married.

 

Love is mandatory, but it needs to be complimented.

 

Love is not the only component necessary when it comes to marriage. There are a number of married people who love each other, but they are bored with each other.

 

There are married couples who love each other, but they sleep in separate rooms every night.

 

There are married couples who would still do anything for each other, but they no longer have that spark that they once had for each other.

 

It doesn’t mean that they don’t love them, but something changed. Something changed that took the fire out of what they had.

 

Being around the same person all the time with the same routine can get boring if you don’t keep things interesting.

 

Raising a family together is a lot of work that can also impact the marriage and time spent with each other. Love must continue to grow.

 

Love must continue to be complimented by other things. Love must be employed.

 

Relationships truly do require both parties putting in the work.

 

It’s so easy to put a lot of focus on each other in the beginning and neglect each other later because you’re used to them.

 

Some people are heavily invested in the growth of the relationship at the beginning, but they take it for granted over time.

 

Love is a must, but it comes with accessories. The accessories are what keeps things going.

 

So, even when the 1 comes along, don’t forget these very important factors. Love is active.

 

Before you say I do, you need the 1, and you need them to be the same 1 when you’re married. They should get better with time.

 

If you really think about it, it would make sense that if two people will spend their lives together that more effort and creativity should be involved, not less.

 

Forever comes with a lot of work!

 

Being with someone forever is a full-time job that should require more time and effort than being with someone part-time!

 

This is why you should not allow people to drag you along and play with your emotions now because it’s just a bad habit being formed.

 

Forever is not for the weak at heart! Forever is not for the casual hookup. Forever is the real deal!

 

Forever can withstand every obstacle over time because love is there along with the accessories.

 

When you are with the 1 and are married, you should give way more than you did before marriage. There are incentives with marriage.

 

Don’t give people special accommodations in your life when they don’t even take the time to make reservations!

 

If someone isn’t willing to put in the work into the relationship now, you cannot expect that they will do so later.

 

Yes, people can change, but you don’t marry what if!

 

There are some very important things that you need to know for sure before you say I do.

 

Getting married based on what you hope someone will do or be is a recipe for disaster.

 

You can’t only marry potential because potential has the potential to meet, exceed or underachieve your expectations!

 

Yes, we all go through changes in life over time. However, in relationships, people should grow together.

 

Before you say I do, you need to get beyond your feelings. We’ve already established that the 1 is coming.

 

Don’t get caught up on if they will come, because you should be confident that they are coming.

 

Since you know the 1 is coming, you need to prepare for what comes after they arrive.

 

This mindset of I will take what I can get or this might be the best I will get, so I had better just deal with it must stop.

 

That is a very low standard to have because that’s living in fear. Being afraid that you might lose someone is dangerous.

 

Fear didn’t come from God, so if you’re fearful that you will lose them, you will run the risk of always looking over your shoulders.

 

If you’re fearful that the 1 will never come then you are really saying that you don’t trust God with it, and you don’t truly value yourself.

 

You’re valuable and many people want valuable things.

 

There are some who don’t appreciate your value, but sometimes the rarest jewels are hardest to find for a reason!

 

People are willing to spend many years and a lot of resources trying to find certain precious jewels.

 

It’s worth the wait. It’s worth the sacrifice. It’s worth it because the value of it outweighs the amount of time it took.

 

You may have been on the market for what you consider a long time, but it doesn’t make you less valuable. It actually makes you very valuable.

 

A rare jewel that is in a special place in someone else’s home doesn’t do anyone else any good.

 

Society has tried to get you to buy into a lie. There’s not something wrong with you because you’re still single.

 

You don’t see anyone saying something is wrong with a very expensive car or home because it’s still on the market!

 

People appreciate the value of it. People recognize that it’s special, but everyone cannot afford it.

 

It wasn’t made for everyone. It was made for the person who understands its value, appreciates its value and is willing to do what’s necessary to make it theirs.

 

There are very valuable homes that have been on the market for years, but there are some who still can’t believe it’s still on the market.

 

Some say that they wish they could have it, but it’s out of their range. Some only browse, but they have no intention to actually get it.

 

The same examples apply with relationships. Some people still can’t believe you’re single.

 

It’s not because there is something wrong with you, it’s because you haven’t met the right 1.

 

This is why you should not be worried about when you will be able to say I do. That will come, but you need the 1.

 

There is no rush to get to the 1 because forever is a long time. If you just wanted anyone, you would have been off the market a long time ago.

 

You must realize that you are loveable. You are valuable. You are attractive.

 

Yes, you may have some areas you can improve in. Yes, you may have not always gotten it right, but you learned from your mistakes.

 

You have grown. You are better than you were before.

 

Don’t get caught up in the numbers.  You were made for the 1, not every 1!

 

The day will come when you will say, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

 

You will say, “I do!” Oh what a wonderful day it will be.

 

Don’t forget that you will need all the love you have to give plus the accessories. It will be a true team effort.

 

So, relax and enjoy each day that you have because each day is taking you somewhere.

 

Each day is bringing you that much closer to saying, “I do!”

 

As always, remember that you are Single For 1! That is all for now.

Your Relationship Advisor,

The Duke

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Tags: advice, benefits of marriage, choosing right mate, dating, dating advice, getting married, good men, good women, hopeless romantic, loving yourself, relationship advice, saying I do, valuing the relationship, waiting for love

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