I Expect A Relationship Status Change This Year!

in a relationshipI want a relationship upgrade in 2013! This is a statement I’m sure many will subscribe to this year. Perhaps 2012 did not go as you had hoped in the relationship department, but there is joy in knowing that you still went through a process that has prepared you for what’s next. Some are still going through the process, but the process is for our good.

There is nothing wrong with desiring a relationship status change, but of course you don’t want any old relationship. You have been on this journey long enough to not be in the mood for any casual or temporary hook up. Single does not mean desperate. One of the definitions for single is suitable for one person only. It’s a mathematical fact. It’s simple arithmetic really, as 1(you)+1(the one)=2. This is why you are Single For 1, not many!

I understand everyone is at a different place on your journey. Some of you are just adjusting to being single again. Some of you are adjusting to still be single. Others are trying to figure out if the relationship you are in has gone as far as it will go and how much longer you should stay. Decisions! Decisions! Decisions! Well, the good thing is that you won’t have to make them alone.

Now as you continue to prepare yourself spiritually, mentally and physically to move from a season of singleness to a season towards marriage (if you’re not married, you’re single), there are some things we need to discuss. As long as you don’t give me a hard time, this will go smoothly for the both of us. We’re in this together.

I have outlined 3 rules to follow in 2013 and beyond as you prepare for your status change:

1.)  Don’t Act Brand New- One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to meet someone and all of a sudden change who you are at the core. If you

lose your identity in a relationship; you have cheated yourself and the person you are with. I have said this time and time again, the 1 for you will complement you, not complete you. Being complete means a finished product. We’re not done here until we leave this earth.

THE ONE FOR YOU IS ANOTHER PIECE OF THE PUZZLE, BUT THEY DON’T MAKE UP THE WHOLE PUZZLE!

Yes, you will have things to accomplish together, because when we talk about marriage, the two are becoming one. However, it still includes two distinct persons and personalities. We are not jumping ahead to marriage when you still have to meet them, get to know them and then go to the next level.

Let’s not get it twisted. Your goals and dreams shouldn’t stop when you get in a relationship. Sure, adjustments and sacrifices will be made, but the both of you are here to carry out God’s will, not your own agendas or even the agenda of the other. You have an assignment together. Marriage can never be your end goal.

MARRIAGE IS AN ASSIGNMENT FOR TWO PEOPLE; IT DOESN’T END AT MARRIAGE, IT STARTS AT MARRIAGE!

Ask any married couple who has been married for a while and they will tell you it takes work. If you are divorced or know someone who is, you can also attest to this. Relationships take work. If you are lazy or selfish, there is something I need you to do. Go on ahead and take that seat right over there in the corner and sit it on down. Let’s talk when you are serious! Relationship requires effort. You must first be honest with yourself. If you are not, then you will not know what to work on. I assure you, we all will always have work to do because we are constantly evolving.

 

GROWTH IS NOT ONE OPTION IN RELATIONSHIPS; IT’S THE ONLY OPTION IF YOU EXPECT IT TO LAST!

The moment you stop growing and empowering yourself is the moment you will become lost and the relationship will be lost, and this can happen even with the 1. The 1 for you and you being the 1 for them does not come with a stamp that says complete. Our work here is not done until our work here is done!

2.)  Learn to Enjoy Today- I had this pleasant reminder in the last couple of

months of 2012. For many of us, we often spend so much time looking at what’s next and looking way down the road. Planning is good, but if you have lived long enough, you know that all plans don’t go according to plan! We are often our toughest critics at times.

Pat yourself on the back for making it through 2012. You may not have gotten it all right, but you are still here, so that means your work is not done. Follow your dreams and have fun. Do fun things. Enjoy your hobbies. I have to keep reminding you of this because too many of you are still not doing it.

Everyday in the 365 days in a year matter, and you even get 1 extra day every four years to make 366 days (Yeah, I had to add that scientific fact just to show off :)).

EVERY TODAY YOU LOOK PAST TO RUSH INTO TOMORROW IS LIKE TELLING GOD THAT THE DAY HE GAVE YOU WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH!

Everyday may not seem like your best day, but it was still your day. You lived in it, and the fact that you lived in it and you are special, your today matters. Some days may not feel good for you, but you never know when you can make it feel good for someone else.

The last time I checked the sun and the moon showed up everyday to do what it was called to do.  It’s still the day the Lord has made, and there is always something in each day that you can use, even if not at the exact moment.  There are gifts in you that the world is in need of. So, make it count and show up!

3.)  Don’t Compare Relationships- What I find so interesting is that there are

many others who will look at your life from the outside and wish they were in your position. I know they don’t know what you had to fight through or facing right now, but trust me when I say, there is always someone who thinks where you are is better than where they are.

There are some married folks who secretly wish they had waited and wish they were in your shoes. Yet, there are some singles that are looking at married folks wishing they could be in their shoes. Here’s a simple solution: Focus on your front door!

 

Your past relationship is your past. If you haven’t been in a relationship, it’s still the past. Someone else’s relationship is their relationship. The dynamics are always different, but the principles remain the same.  Your mindset must be one that is unshakable. Expect the best and the best has to find you. Don’t settle! Don’t settle! Don’t settle!

Make today count. Ladies and Gentlemen, express confidence that you know you have something to offer. Your personal resume and character reference is outstanding and you are simply waiting for the 1 to come and read it.

In the mean time, you are updating that resume by living life like it matters.  He’s looking for you and she’s waiting to be found!

Hello my name is ___________________ and I Expect A Relationship Status Change This Year!

As always, remember that you are Single For 1. That is all for now.

Your Singles Advisor,

The Duke

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4 Comments on “I Expect A Relationship Status Change This Year!”

  1. YJ Says:

    Hello my name is YJ and I Expect A Relationship Status Change This Year in Jesus’ name! — You brought out a good point, one that I always tell my sista girls….We only have to believe God for one. When looking at the brothers as a whole it can be overwhelming. But having faith for one, stops the murmuring about the brothers not being in position (doubt and unbelief steps with the murmuring – satan’s cunning tactic). Having faith for one helps the process to be easier and channels prayers for your mate. No matter where your mate is currently God hears and answer prayers. 2013 — We are here with great expectations. To God be the GLORY!

    Like

  2. ElLois Says:

    Excellent, excellent, excellent !!

    Like

  3. J.Cheray Says:

    Absolutely on time for me. Praise God!

    Like


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