Archive for March 2012

The DNA of Distraction!

March 5, 2012

One would think that we all would have mastered being aware of distractions. However, this has been a dominant subject as of late when it comes to relationships. I have had this conversation with so many people in the past week. I don’t believe many go into a distraction knowing it is a distraction. Sometimes it’s only after you have been in denial and take a pause to analyze what is really going on in your life; you may then realize that perhaps there is someone or something that is distracting you from focusing on what you are supposed to be focused on at the time.

You may believe that you have something good only to realize that it was a “good distraction” that really wasn’t good for you. Sure, there can be such a thing as a good distraction. However, a good distraction is when it’s something for your good that gets your mind off of doing something that you would regret later. However, one must be very careful. You must keep your eyes wide open. The signs are often right in front of you if you just look. What looks like a good distraction, can easily be a bad one.

Some of you have had and currently do have distractions right in front of you. The thing about a good distraction gone bad can be compared to a lot of candy. IF YOU KEEP A DISTRACTION AROUND YOU, IT’S LIKE CANDY THAT IS SWEET TO TASTE BUT BAD FOR YOUR TEETH!  Some of you need to cut back on whatever your candy is. If you keep allowing the distractions to stay around and become closer to you, by the time you look up, you will have a toothache. Distractions are intended to disguise itself. Distraction does not show up in your life and tell you that it is a distraction. It’s something that you must discover for yourself. I say this time and time and time again: Just because someone is good to you does not make them good for you!

I have included 3 signs to understanding the DNA of a distraction.

1.)  Distraction is Attracted to Your Weakness- Distraction is very cunning and shows up because it identifies your weakness. You know how it is when you pray for something and talk about it with your friends and then all of a sudden what appears to be an answered prayer shows up, but you later find out that it wasn’t. The moment you said you were done with that person and then all of a sudden they start acting right. The moment you said you wanted something, not long after, that something that looks like the something you said you wanted seems to show up. It looks right, feels right, seems right, so it must be right… Right? Wrong! Here is a general rule to always remember:  For every authentic connection created, a counterfeit is formed to attempt to block it.

Every counterfeit is connected to a distraction, and it is all aimed at making sure you never get to the place with the person you are supposed to be with. The tricky thing about a counterfeit is that it looks like the real thing to the naked eye, but when you know what the real thing looks like, you can spot a counterfeit a mile away. The problem is Distraction understands your weakness. So, your perception is not as clear when your weakness is being exploited. Your weakness makes you vulnerable.

Oftentimes, if you want something badly, it can become a weakness because sometimes one is willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Other times, if you have not seen anything that good in a long time, you may fall victim. You fall victim because it’s better than what you have had, so you figure you can make it work. Well, Distraction also understands your void.

The key to overcoming your weakness is to first identify it. If you identify it, then you can become more alert in that area. Hence, you should be more guarded in that area. Only the person with the right key should be able to get in.

2.)   Distraction Does Not Play Fair- Oh so you want Distraction to have pity on you? Not going to happen.  Distraction has no respect to age, race or sex.  Distraction is willing to break any rules to get you to lose focus. Distraction does not care how you feel. Now, when it is in the form of a person, that person may care about you and they may not want to be a distraction. However, if they are not the 1 for you, they become a distraction by default. Sure, you may have had to learn a few times from mistakes. However, as you mature in this area, you shouldn’t continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Some people have married distractions. Save yourself unnecessary pain and agony by taking your time to analyze all details.

Who’s in a rush? Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you talking over all this distraction talk, but did you just say something? I thought I just heard you unconsciously say that you are in a rush. Rush to do what? Get married! I’m sorry, you said something else? Oh, your biological clock is ticking? Oh, you’re getting older? Oh, most of the good men are taken? Oh, too many women have attitudes? Oh, you’re tired of people playing games? Oh, you’d just rather be by yourself? Oh, you have prepared your mind to think that if it happens it happens, if it don’t it don’t? Oh, maybe I need to lower my standards? Oh, you’re tired of waiting? Oh, you’re just looking for a friend to spend time with?

Wow, thank you for the feedback. I’ve written blogs based around all of those statements at one point or another. However, you do know that Distraction heard all of that right? You do know that Distraction does not play fair right? Distraction plays to all of those types of statements that many make. So, Distraction waits for just the right moment to show up and take you for a walk and then out to dinner.

Distraction knows just what to say and how to say it. Distraction smells good too. I’m sure you all have heard about that new line of cologne and perfume out called ah, ah, Duh, dey, dum, dis, fraction, subtraction, reaction.  It’s on the tip of my tongue. Oh, I remember, it’s called DISTRACTION. That’s what it’s called. I haven’t figured out yet where people purchase it. It’s not sold in stores.

Distraction has a counter to all of those statements, which appears to be a good thing. However, instead of just having a counter to those statements, Distraction actually shows up as a counterfeit. So, it may appear good because it appeals to that one area that frustrates you, but the problem is that you focus too much on that one area that appears to have been resolved and ignore the other signs.

So, of course you should pray. However, when Distraction appears to fill that void and appears to be the answer to your problem, that’s when you must be extra careful. Many pray at this point, but when they pray they are too impatient to wait for an answer because they are so excited of the possibility of Distraction being the right thing; they end up getting an answer from the flesh and call it God. However, that is another story for another day. I told you that Distraction does not play fair. Distraction is a nasty character and wants to strip you of all you have to pull you further and further away from what you are supposed to be doing.

So, you must protect yourself by not being overly anxious about anything, especially when the person 1st shows up. I don’t care if they fit everything on your list. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, but I didn’t call your name. What’s that? You didn’t hear me? Sometimes I talk so fast, all of my words run together. Please forgive me. Oh, I said, “I don’t care if they fit everything on your list.” I hope that was a bit clearer. You must still study this individual. Distraction loves being a counterfeit copy of your list. It doesn’t have to be complicated; all I’m saying is control what you do with your emotions. Distraction does not play fair and it loves to play on your emotions.

3.)  Distraction Tends to Show Up at Crucial Points in Your Life- Distraction doesn’t really care about showing up when you are not hiring. Distraction loves it when you are doing the job for it; when you are not focused yourself. However, when you are focused and going in the right direction, I can pretty much guarantee Distraction will show up. Distraction also shows up when you are at a pivotal point in your life or when something major happens in your life. Distraction plays to your emotions, so whether you are sad or excited, it is attracted to the extremes of both. Distraction is not interested in you reaching your destiny. It wants the complete opposite. So, be on high alert if you are happy or sad. Distraction is sure to be lurking.

Overall, don’t be discouraged if you fell victim to Distraction. The more you live, the more you will be able to spot it. We have all been a victim to Distraction, but we don’t have to allow it to beat us anymore. Just don’t live in denial with Distraction living with you. Pack Distractions bags and escort it out the door. It can be challenging if your emotions are involved. So, please be careful and on alert. You deserve the best, so you should expect the best. Remember, you are Single For 1.

That is all for now.

Your Singles Advisor,

The Duke