Archive for June 2010

Do You Even Want a Husband???

June 2, 2010

How many of you got excited or became very curious just by seeing the word husband? I had about 5 conversations this week that has really made this burden on my heart greater. Every woman I spoke with, having a husband was at the top of their list. None of them sounded convinced or confident that it would come to pass. Some claim that it’s not that important to them or that they are not worried about it. However, their actions say something different. How many times have you talked to a man and you really, really hoped it worked out? You saw some red flags, but you really, really wanted it to work. How many times do you seek advice from someone when it comes to relationships, hoping they will say one thing to make you stay with the man a little longer, with hopes something will change? How many times have you compromised yourself and your standards to force something that wasn’t there? You must realize that YOU ARE THE STANDARD. It is totally natural to desire your spouse. First, you have to ask yourself a few questions.

1.)  Do you think there are still good men left, and do you think there is one left for you? There is a distinct difference between thinking and knowing. You are cursing yourself everytime you say negative things about your future. Does this sound familiar: All the good men are taken…..I’m not getting any younger…..I’m starting to think I may NEVER get married….Why are ALL men dogs….Maybe my standards are too high…I don’t even think God cares about this….There are more men in prison than are available so my chances are looking slimmer….I don’t even care anymore…I don’t even need a husband right now, I just need somebody to take care of me and spend some time with…..I hope or I wish…Girl, does your friend have a friend or brother he can hook me up with?

If you just want a hook up, then that is what you will get. Ladies, your words create your atmosphere. Take a second and think about how many positive things you say in reference to relationships and the negative things you say. You have just created your atmosphere and your expectations. You can’t think one thing and say another. That would make you double minded. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). If you don’t think it will happen, then stop talking about it in general. However, I believe that it is your desire, and God does know the desires of your heart.

2.)  Are you living as if time is running out or that the best is yet to come? If you think time is running out, then you are setting yourself up to settle. You are saying you have gone as far as you are going to go. If you believe the best is yet to come, then you still have a bright future and new adventures to look forward to.

3.)  Who are you listening to? IF YOU ASK A BROKE PERSON ABOUT FINANCES, YOU WILL GET BROKE ADVICE. So, in other words, if you are seeking advice from someone in the same situation as you in relationships, how can they give you sound advice? Yes, you can learn from others experiences and mistakes, but you have to know what to take and what to take out. If you desire something and know someone who has successfully done it, they may be a good candidate for advice. However, you must also be careful because no situation is alike. It may have worked out one way for them, but the process may be different for you.

4.)  Are you still mad about what happened in the past? It’s as simple as this: YOUR PAST IS HISTORY AND IF YOU WASTE YOUR TIME GOING THROUGH OLD CHAPTERS, YOU MAY MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE A NEW BOOK.  Once you know your identity, you essentially become a new person and that old book is the old you. Too often, women go back to old relationships that come up from time to time because they have no one else around or because it looks like it could be new. A perplexing question to ponder on: Do people always change or do just circumstances change?

5.)  Do you truly desire a husband? If the answer is yes, then just keep living and improving yourself. The man has to find you, not you find him. No, you don’t need to try to put yourself in the right spot so he can see you. All you need to do is work on improving your favor. Scripture says that the man obtains favor from the Lord when he finds you. The better you are, the better the favor. A man should never be able to say you don’t bring anything to the table because you bring the favor of the Lord. God said that man should not be alone, and He provided a help meet (or a help suitable) for Adam. You are a gift from God to a man. Do you know you are a gift?

People always talk about getting married, and society puts so much pressure on others about it. A friend of mine said something a couple of weeks ago that I added a little to. YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THE BUSINESS OF JUST GETTING MARRIED…YOU SHOULD BE IN THE BUSINESS OF STAYING MARRIED.

That is all for now.

Your Singles Advisor,